Friday, June 24, 2005

intransingent or labile?? (dictionary.com ;o)

So i've calmed down a bit from my last post (i don't think it even sounded that angry, but the feeling was there!) I think, from general comments (eg lib and sez's blogs, see links) we've reached a general concurance that this time of the year esp sucks/is tough. There's stuff coming at you from all directions with school which includes constant work and pressure, exams, friends, formals, teachers, exhaustion (mental, physical AND emotional) as well as family, other friends and any other circumstances on top- we're all going through stuff after Tim and Cammo's Mum's deaths as well.
I feel such a mixed bag of emotions- like on the one hand i go from feeling angry at myself and others and feeling like doing some giant scrawly textured painting thing, to feeling so appreciative of people's love, and accepting me flaws and all, and their company and coolness, and coming back to God's constant assurance and reassurance. It's like there's so much bubbling away and it keeps on coming to the boil and your like AHHH :) :( :S all at the same time!!! It so does help to know that your not alone when you feel like that, bcoz that can be the overriding emotion- just that you feel so isolated. It's weird bcoz when i'm around ppl i always feel better (which is why i prob don't always looked stressed out!), but it's often when i'm alone it can sometimes get overwhelming. Just the practical thing of not spending as much time with people in year 12 (and other years/study...things) does make it tough (eg Dave). We are in the home stretch people (with school)- only a few months to go and they'll fly by!! Actually that's scary!
I've got a new favourite movie (to add to my list)- watched My Life as a House again today, it's a cool movie. It's real, sad, funny, good ending that leaves you with hope... I like it.
Anyway, I'm kind of sick atm (feel better than yesterday, could've had something to do with the 13 hours sleep... had the day off which i felt bad re:missing lessons about bcoz friday's the day i have no free's, but Mum was like 'don't be silly, you're sick! you're staying home!' (to paraphrase), but it was good) sooo yeah, i'm off to the land of nod!

PS to add to sez and lib, comments are v good/appreciated ppl, we like to know what u think!!
PPS This all sounds quite depressing, but i was just thinking all this kind of stuff can be good- 1) we get to know ourselves better, our strengths/weaknesses. 2) we get to know and be there for each other more, 3) we can relate more to people we might come across feeling similarly, and last but not least 4) we CAN come to rely on God more, know more about Him, become more real in our relationship with him (I know how easy it is to lie to not only urself and others, but (well try, he already knows anyway) to God about how ur feeling) and he can make us stronger thru the tough times!

2 comments:

sez said...

i feel like a mixed bag of lollies too...mmm...lollies...i mean, emotions...

lib said...

post post post post lol :)
i am so bored i have nothing on the blogs to entertain me while i try and forget about exams (mum keeps bringing them up and they are 3 months away!)